remembering you

pak cuk juz got out of the hospital today.
i called mom after kokurikulum
and asked if i could visit pak cuk
and if she could pick me up since it was raining

and then she said that pak cuk was already at my house
so i juz waited around till mom picked me up
and there, in front of the tv downstairs
was the bed under mine
which syara slept on
instead, pak cuk was on it.
and he was talking to atok(his mom).

i put my bag in my room,
came back down
and studied next to pak cuk.

(when pak cuk went to the toilet)
atok: kesian pak cuk
me: ha ah
fatin tau tak, masa acuk tengok fatin belajar, dia buat macam ni
(atok put her hand in front of her eyes)
ye ke?
hmm... dia masih terkenang pasal syara ah tu
...

me: pak cuk, pak cuk
pak cuk: apa?
fatin nak mintak maaf tau kalau ada buat apa2 salah kat pak cuk
mana ada. fatin tak de buat pape salah.
ye lah tu. fatin sorry tau, tau?
tak pe. pak cuk maafkan.
ok...
fatin jangan sedih tau
*nods*
kalau fatin sedih, nanti pak cuk pun sedih
*nods*
fatin solat, doakan die ye?
*nods*
fatin maafkan dosa-dosa die, ok?
*nods*
mintak Allah rahmati dia, ok fatin?
*nods* hmm.

all the while,
i was holding back the tears
that were trying to escape.
it was so hard

pak cuk, mom and dad
are going to johor right now.
pak cuk wants to visit syara's kubur
and wants to meet everyone who is still at johor.
but they're coming back tomorrow
and pak cuk still has an appointment at the hospital.

(came back from tution)
kak parmi: syara ada pernah bagitau akak yang fatin dengan syara tak pernah gaduh
me: ha ah ek? tak pernah pun kitorang gaduh. tapi fatin gaduh dengan durrah adalah.
ye. syara pun bagitau akak yang die dengan durrah pun pernah gaduh. tapi dengan fatin tak pernah ek?
tak...
syara kata fatin baik orangnya, tak sombong. fatin pun selalu cuba untuk memahami dan menolongnya.
macamlah fatin ni baik sangat.
pastu dia kata yang dia tu tau yang dirinya miskin, tapi dia kata fatin tak pernah pandang rendah padanya.
... dia kata macam tu ke?
ye. dia kata dia suka sangat dengan fatin
fatin pun suka kat syara.

me: last time fatin jumpa syara yang masa dia sleepover tu lah. kak parmi bila?
kak parmi: apa? kali terakhir cakap dengan dia?
ha ah.
masa kak parmi pergi restoran pak cuk sama mak uda.
owh...
syara yang layan kitorang
ye ke?
ha ah. pastu dia cakap sama parmi,
'bibi, kita nak pergi rumah mak shah (my mom) lagi lah'
'owh... kenapa?'
'nak belajar dengan fatin. belajar kat situ pun sedap. ada kawan.'
'pergilah. fatin pun suka'
'tengok lah kalau cuti sekolah kita tak busy'


you told me to talk to you in english
but i'm too used to talking in malay to you,
so sometimes i forgot.
and we kept repeating to ourselves.
'talk in english, talk in english'
and when we did,
i asked you a question in 3 seconds,
you answer me in 3 minutes.
it was a fun moment.

you was sitting on the chair
and i was lying on my tummy on the floor.
you were doing geografi,
i was doing bm.
i kept asking you questions
because i didn't know what the meaning was.
you answered me as best as you can.
later on, i fell asleep face-down on the floor
but you kept on studying...

when i see the blender,

i see both of us trying to make ice-blended orange juice.

we were putting the ice in, adding sugar, adding water

and we were debating whether we should add more water/ice or not.

in the end, we finished making the drinks.

but it tasted awful after drinking half a cup.

too sweet/sour.

so, in my room, i was the one who drank what you didn't finish

syara: boleh lagi kau minum tu? *shivers*

when i look at the kitchen sink,
i see me and you juz after eating lunch together
you were washing the dishes
i was (as usual) too lazy to
syara: kita mestilah basuh pinggan sendiri
me: ye cikgu...
apalah fatin ni! kita yang makan, kita yang basuh lah kan?
yes...

ahaha! tengok kita ni, boleh masak, boleh cuci baju sendiri. macam mana kau nak kahwin nanti? nak kahwin pun kena buat benda-benda macam ni jugak kan?
you sound so much like my mom.
haha! kita masak sedap-sedap kan?
yelah! engkau berniaga, ada restoran. aku ni sapelah nak ajar.
hehe. alasan...alasan... nanti kita ajar kau masak eh?
jadi engkau kena banyak bersabar dengan aku.
Chef Syara. bunyi nya sedap kan? Chef Syara.
wei, dah lah tu. aku tau lah aku fail dalam masak-masak ni.

you was sitting on my bed,

and i was sitting on my chair.

you got my pengawas note book, and a blue pen

and then you wrote something.

you gave the paper to me,

grinning from ear to ear.

the paper had your messy writing on it.

"FATIN RAIHANA

HANINI DURRAH

MIMIE SYARA

->We're best friends.....

until forever

and ever

and ever

adn and x100....."